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TEACHER & STUDENT


TWO youngsters were walking home from school, each deep in his own thoughts.Finally one said,"What do you think about all this devil business we studied today?"
The other boy replied thoughtfully,"Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just your Dad, too."



THE chemistry professor asks during class,"What happens if we leave a piece of iron outdoors?"
"It rusts,"answers one student.
The professor then asks,"And if we leave a piece of gold?"
"It disappears!"answers the same student.



THE professor taking 'Introduction to Marketing' class was making a point about client needs.As an example, he held up a textbook required for the course."When you buy this expensive book, what are you looking for?"he asked.
"Good information,"answered one student.
"Clarity,"said another.
These responses were followed by silence.Then someone called out,"Resale value."



MOST journalism students soon learn the Five W's and One H of journalism: Who, What, When, Where, Why and How.However, a student had a brain fade when the question appeared on a test.Waxing creative, he gave this answer:
"Writing, Working, Worrying, Wondering, Who knows? and Help!"



TEACHER,"Maria, spell mouse."
Maria,"M-O-U-S."
Teacher,"Isn't there something at the end of it?"
Maria,"A tail."



WHAT did the student say when the teacher said,"Order, children, order."?
"I'll have a hamburger and fries, please."



DAD,"How do you like going to school."
Son,"I like going to school and like coming home from school.It's the time in between I hate.



LITTLE Johnny comes home from school with a black eye.His father see's it and says,"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with other boys?"
"But dad, it wasn't my fault.We were all in church saying our prayers.We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt.I reached over and pulled it out.That's when she hit me!"
"Johnny,"the father said,"You don't do those kind of things to women."Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said,"Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
"But dad,"Johnny said,"it wasn't my fault.There we were in the church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt.Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and reached over and pulled it out.Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!"



THE first grade class gathered around the teacher for a game.
"Guess the Animal." The first picture the teacher held up was of a cat.
"Okay boys and girls," she said brightly, "can anyone tell me what this is?"
"I know, I know, it's a cat!" yelled a little boy.
"Very good Eddie. Now, who knows what this animal is called?"
"That's a dog!" piped up the same little boy.
"Right again. And what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.
Silence fell over the class. After a minute or two, the teacher said,"I'll give you a hint, children...it's something your mother calls your father."
"I know, I know," screamed Eddie. "It's a Stupid!"


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